Chapter 31 - Break it Down (Part 2) - My K-Pop Experience
- Kitania Rose
- Jul 28, 2023
- 3 min read
STALKING BREAKDOWN:
A month or so (and many years beyond) after I started talking to that person, I noticed that strange things were happening to me.
1. Online (From 6:00 min)
A. Confusions between the pronouns “You” and “I”
I could understand about hiding their identity (swapping gender, name and age - perhaps because they did not know what I could be capable of...lol) but, why confuse things even more by saying something you wish the other person would do, using the pronoun “I”?
Back in 2019, this person was to travel to England. Instead of asking “I will be travelling to England. Would you be able to come at XXX?”
No invitation.
Instead, I got something along the lines of “What if I straighten my bushy hair for Easter?” ...
Most idols have the straightest hair possible, so between the two of us, who had the “bushy” hair if I am of Black-African descent?
What is the point of working with dark-skinned individuals saying “I love their music and style” if you despise their appearances?
I guess it could also be ignorance.
B. Stolen information and/or astral projection?
“Is that person getting information somewhere else or is that person using astral projection?' I was not sure. And I just thought ‘I am thinking too much.’”
That Person: “I am trying to exercise to lose my big belly”
Kitania: coincidence.
That Person: “I have really bushy hair” ...
Kitania: ...uh?
That Person: “Sorry, I didn’t reply because I had some exams and failed them. I was upset” ...
Kitania:...*turns around from my computer to check if perhaps there were somebody and cameras in my room*
That Person: (Paraphrasing) “One day as a joke, I asked my relative: ‘Why should I be trying so hard in life if all I could do is marry a millionaire?’ My relative rebuked me saying that adults should be independent and not depend on anyone. I believe so too.’
Kitania: wow...
The last little extract above (the one with the word 'paraphrasing' in bracket) was part of a longer reply which was sent to me after sharing some life experiences (especially revolving around my education).
Although, "grateful" for the reply I received from that person, it really hit me hard. To this day, I cannot recall having this discussion with a relative before reading their message.
Only later, did I brought up that passage while seeking advice.
At the time, all I had in mind was to give those leaflets.
However, these actions had led me to appear lazy, clingy and a gold digger in the eyes of others.
A hard pill to swallow.
C. Source of Inspiration for Personal use and/or commercial use combined with point D
D. Gaslighting, silence treatment, taking advantage of “low self-esteem syndrome”.
This one is a big one.
I will copy and paste some of the comments I wrote to “that person” which sounded familiar to some contents (e.g., M.V., shows, projects involving fans) released later.
E. Computer and mobile phone acting weird.
For example, one day, when editing the KBSxBTS interview, I heard some laughter through my headphones then it stopped. No internet pages were opened. With what I had been going through so far, I just thought that the person spying on me was enjoying my content, lol. On a serious note, I started to be scared to go online and would pay for antivirus and VPN. That money could have been spent elsewhere as it did not seem to be helping...
~ My K-Pop Experience: How My Experience Shaped My Personal Journey as a Christian (Chapter 31, Part 2) ~
